Forgiving Yourself

Forgiving Yourself

I’m sure we are all familiar with the theme of forgiveness. It’s not the easiest thing to do. Forgiving people who have hurt us intentionally or unintentionally or are even still hurting us without an ounce of remorse can be extremely hard. Nevertheless, we push through this with the help of the reminder that forgiveness is not for them but for us. For the reason that, when we forgive we free ourselves from bitterness, anger, resentment, stress and heartache. As a result, life is just much easier without the heavy baggage of grudges.

However, have you ever considered that sometimes the grudges we hold are not always towards others but sometimes towards ourselves? Have you ever acknowledged the fact that there are mistakes you once made that you still haven’t forgiven yourself for? Whether it be breaking a vow or promise you had with God, missing out on a great opportunity or causing severe damage to a relationship that you once valued but didn’t value enough to protect. Have you ever been honest enough with yourself to realise that you still haven’t forgiven yourself for a mistake that haunts you and has now manifested into a feeling of regret? I’m asking you this because I was scrolling down my Instagram feed and a quote posted by ‘Jesus Grew A Flower’ resonated with me. And I came to the realisation that I have never conceived of the notion of forgiving myself. I understand the concept of throwing pity parties, being hard on yourself or undermining your potential. But I completely ignored the fact that sometimes we need to be held accountable for the unwanted outcomes that occur in our lives, but once we have taken responsibility for it we need to be careful and ensure that we don’t miss the stage of forgiving ourselves.

Question: HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOURSELF?

Lets be real here. We are all human beings. And to be a human being in a nutshell is basically a flawed individual who will fall therefore make mistakes. Nonetheless, we have the choice to either stay down or get back up, brush of the dirt and move onwards and upwards. We have all made mistakes. But mistakes can be used as tools to learn, they don’t have to be a weapon used to end it all. For those of us who choose to stay down, failing to forgive ourselves is a symptom of this condition. This is because lack of forgiveness breeds stagnation, because we remain stagnant when we hold grudges because we become fixated on the mistake rather than the lesson which can be extracted from the mistake.

I’m not saying don’t feel bad when you do something wrong. Don’t get it twisted I am not condoning or encouraging you to demonstrate affectionless psychopathy:

“individuals who cannot exhibit caring behaviours, concern, or affection for other people. They don’t have empathy for others. They show no or very little remorse, guilt, shame, or contrition for their bad deeds”

I’m just saying that life is a process and in order for us to get the most out of it we shouldn’t miss any steps or stages. So yes, we make a mistake, we have a moment of remorse but we then identify where we went wrong, forgive ourselves and work on doing the right thing. Now that’s when forgiveness helps us achieve the growth that we need. Growth that comes from living and learning from our mistakes.

This may be a hard pill to swallow because I’m struggling to swallow it right now. But please, if you didn’t get anything from this post just get this. Forgive yourself for whatever you have done wrong, let yourself be free. Because God already forgave you. So who are you to judge?

I hope this post encouraged you! Please comment down below and let me know what you think I want to know your take too!

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Stay tuned and stay blessed,

 

Abi x

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