“Why seek and work hard for people’s approval when you have God’s?” – Abi’s Take
Another rule I have for myself for the year 2018 is to focus on God’s approval and not people’s. If I’m being honest with myself, I can finally admit that I have been lying to myself all this time. Through reflection and self- evaluation of my life. Actually, this revelation first came in one of my psychology lectures where I discovered that my personality had transitioned from one thing to another due to a desire to be accepted and not judged. After this lecture, I was like “wow” this is actually me. And once I encountered this realisation I started to process it more and more. I had to make a decision to change and the first step to change is to be real with yourself and your situation.
So I’m going to be real. I realised that I became more reserved and quiet in certain settings because I didn’t want people to know the real me. I didn’t want people to discover the whole authentic me. This is because I knew that once they did, they would know my strengths and my weaknesses. As a result, my strength which was my privacy would no longer be mine and I would now be a victim to potential exploitation of my weaknesses. Yes I know, it sounds really intense. But this is how I felt. I didn’t want people to know the real me because I didn’t want them to use it against me. This led to me not enjoying myself or living my best life as people would say because I am too busy focusing on falling out of character. I am actually very bubbly, very sarcastic and not to blow my own horn but I think very funny (hehe). However, not everyone knows this because I was afraid, afraid to be me.
Once I was real with myself, I decided that I’m not going to torment myself any longer. I’m not going to shy away from certain things because of fear, I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not because of fear of judgement. I am just going to be me and remember that the only people that have to approve of who I am is God and myself. And I already have his approval. I just need to learn to fully approve of myself.
God approved of us even though he knew that we were and are sinners. He knows about all the skeletons in your closet yet he still loves you even more than you love yourself. He loves us even when we nail him to the cross every time we sin. He loves us and approves of us even when we take him and the things he does for us for granted. When I realised this, I recognised that my priorities weren’t straight. For the reason that, I am seeking approval from people who don’t even pay my bills, yet I’m ignoring the fact that the one that gave me the gift of breath approved of me before I was even born. Now that is something I refuse to ignore.
What I’m trying to say is, don’t seek for anyone’s approval. Focus on the one who approved of you first in the midst of all your flaws. This is a note to self and I plan to live by this from now on. I’m not a slave to fear but I’m a child of God. And I am going to enjoy being me and letting other people in.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant to Christ” – Galatians 1:10
Let me know if you ever struggled with wanting to be accepted. And how you overcame this.
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