Men are trash?
“Maybe you need to stop looking in the trash can” – Abi’s Take
All men? Or some? Or the men you dealt with?
We are all subject to generalisations and stereotypes. Whether it be race, for black people the stereotype being that we are too loud, aggressive and ghetto. For women, we are perceived by some to be inferior and weak. And with young people, especially those of this generation, we are labelled as entitled because it is argued that we don’t want to work for anything but we expect it to be given to us. And in the case of religion, from what I know I have always known that a steretype for Christains is that we are either Bible bashers, judgemental or frigid.
My point is, we are all subject to stereotypes and prejudices. And we all know how fustrating it is for someone to form a perception of you before they even get to know you. It’s even more fustrating when the basis of such perceptions stem from people you have nothing to do with. But I digress.
WHERE ARE YOU LOOKING?
Actually, let’s pause there. Are you the one looking? Because, men are meant to pursue you. (I will explain this more in a later post. Don’t kill me just yet!) I’m not saying you have to play hard to get. But you need to be worth the chase. Right? So maybe you are looking because you are craving something that you haven’t been able to acquire yourself. For instance, you may feel lonely, you may feel pressure due to social media, family members or even yourself, you may even consider being in a relationship to be a goal you have to achieve at a certain age or time. All in all, you are rushing the process rather than embracing the journey, being patient and evolving. This is a problem that will keep on giving. Aside from that, where are you looking? What are you tolerating? Because there are always alarm bells, at least one. So are you ignoring them?
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU REPRESENT?
I say this because majority of the time what you attract is based on your reputation and what you present. So you may attract a trashy minded male because he views you as easy to deceive, manipulate and walk over because of how you present yourself. And lets be real, a guy would not think that a woman who respects herself, knows who she is, knows what she wants and knows what she deserves is easy to take advantage of (Let me know what you think).
However, don’t get me wrong. Meeting a guy that has a trashy mindset may not always be your fault. This is because some males are really good at hiding their bad side and true intentions. Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean that the unfortunate experience you had to endure is now a generalisation of all men. Now that is unfair. The same way it is unjust to say all black people are murderers when most of them are huge influencers or it’s unfair to say based on one hyprocitical Christain that Christainity is a myth etc. It’s flawed to say that due to one man “all men are trash”. That is illogical. Due to the fact that, each and everyone of us is unique so cannot be placed in a category. Even twins don’t exhibit the exact identical personality and they have the same DNA!
For me, eventhough I am not male. Whenever I hear the whole argument that men are trash I actually get fustrated. This is because I know a lot of men that are nothing like they are being percieved to be within this phenomenom. First and foremost, my own father. And alongside this, male friends and brothers I am surrounded by.
Don’t let one guy taint your perception of all men. Don’t allow that experience to make you bitter but find ways to learn from it and avoid it next time.
So I think we need to stop feeding into making such ignorant phenomenons and individalise every situation.
Stay tuned for my take on how to avoid a trashy minded male.
Please let me know what you think in the comment section below.
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Stay blessed and stay tuned.